These past few weeks have been pure torture. Headaches and nausea every day, stomach cramps almost every night, and my back pain has been on-and-off. My neck is the worst; the ache is so bad I would very much like to lop off my own head.
This coming Tuesday is my first appointment with a Chiari specialist. I'm not sure what to expect. Honestly, I almost think he's going to just say "suck it up." Either that, or he'll recommend surgery. To be honest, I just don't want to go through that again. The first time around was bad, but this time I have too much responsibility to take off two months from work.
Bleu has moved out to my place, and having someone else take care of him gives me heart palpitations. I feel responsible for my horses, and I can't stand hiring someone else to do the work. Charlie and Grimsey are very delicate, and I can't imagine what would happen if one of them got sick while under my dad's (or a temp's) supervision. Last time, I boarded Grimsey. Charlie will be more difficult thanks to his distaste for dogs.
I had Velocity put down last month. The poor old man's time had come, and I'm glad I did it when I did. I think I should have done it earlier, but when you've got people arguing with you over it (Rachel, "Are you sure?") it makes it difficult to get done what needs to be done. He was buried at Flint Creek, where he fox hunted for years. I think it's a good resting place for him. I miss him, but I'm glad he's not in pain anymore.
So then we spent the next 20 minutes at the walk and trot, working on counterbending. It really showed me how crooked I am, but also how his weaknesses reflect my weaknesses. It's not the first time we've had trouble working that 20m circle to the right.
Ahh, well. What can you do? Until next time.
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